AMBASSADOR OLSON

SHAHNAZ AND I WELCOME YOU AND YOUR TEAM TO OUR HOME.

SOME YEARS AGO, A NAÏVE GAUCHE PERSON UNFAMILIAR WITH ISLAMABAD’S DIPLOMATIC SCENE, FOUND HIMSELF STANDING NEXT TO A TALL, DISTINGUISHED ANGLO-SAXON.

HE ASKED THE STOCK QUESTION: “AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN ISLAMABAD?”

“ABOUT THREE MONTHS.”

“OH! AND WHICH EMBASSY ARE YOU WITH?”

THE GUEST REPLIED QUIETLY: “ACTUALLY, I AM THE NEW U.S. AMBASSADOR.”

THANK YOU, RICK, FOR ALLOWING THAT IGNORAMUS TO HOST THIS FAREWELL DINNER FOR YOU TONIGHT.

I TRIED TO INVITE ALL THE PERSONS ON THE LIST YOUR OFFICE SENT ME. UNFORTUNATELY, MOST OF THEM ARE ABROAD.

THOSE WHO ARE HERE EITHER DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY, OR DO NOT HAVE THE REQUISITE VISAS, OR HAVE JUST WITHDRAWN THEIR NOMINATION FROM THE ICC.

ALL OF US HERE – WHETHER WE WRITE ABOUT POLITICS, WHETHER WE READ ABOUT POLITICS, OR WHETHER WE PRACTICE POLITICS – HAVE GATHERED TO SAY A COLLECTIVE FAREWELL TO YOU.

I KNOW I SPEAK FOR US ALL WHEN I SAY THAT WE HAVE NOT KNOWN ANY US AMBASADOR AS MODEST, AS SELF-EFFFACING AS UNOBTRUSIVE, AND THEREFORE AS EFFECTIVE AS YOU.

YOU LEAVE MORE FRIENDS IN PAKISTAN THAN ENEMIES, AND THAT FOR A US AMBASSADOR IS NO SMALL ACHIEVEMENT.

WE WISH YOU A PRODUCTIVE CAREER, AND THEN IN TIME, AN EQUALLY FERTILE RETIREMENT.

I AM NOST SURE WHAT YOUR ULTIMATE PLANS ARE. YOU COULD ALWAYS JOIN YOUR PREDECESSORS LIKE BILL MILAM AND WRITE COLUMNS FOR THE TFT.